Smaller than a Breadbox

If I were short, I would try to stand near other short people to make myself appear taller. This idea comes from the same line of thinking that leads all of us large women to wear gigantic jewelry and carry purses that could double as overnight bags in a useless effort to make ourselves appear petite. Yes, if I were short, I would spend my days looking for other short things to surround myself with.

And if I were short and fat, I would carry a very large purse with a teeny little strap.